God's love and infirmity, cancer in my case, is quite a paradox. It is mind boggling without faith to interface the two. Adding conflict or battle, they are never reconcilable. They just won't mix so they say. Encological plight here then was written to point out that they are or they can be. Here, my wife has been my co-experiencer of the plight thus the title says "our" plight and she was requested to tell the story.
"In a nutshell:" At times, sickness is used by God to show His love often as part of a process like an acid bath for a newly built car body before it is put to the finishing process. We all have seen a car that has just emerged from an assembly line. They usually are seen in car display windows. Procesess are made with precession. They are well supervised and any deviation is expected to a very limited degree thus well provided as any reader will see as he reads on toward the end.
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"In a nutshell:" At times, sickness is used by God to show His love often as part of a process like an acid bath for a newly built car body before it is put to the finishing process. We all have seen a car that has just emerged from an assembly line. They usually are seen in car display windows. Procesess are made with precession. They are well supervised and any deviation is expected to a very limited degree thus well provided as any reader will see as he reads on toward the end.
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So: Let this be it. My "worst half" says, as his better half, I should also have my own accountability for all the cares that is made available in our church. Okay. Convinced. Lest I will be reminded again that I am a wife and a wife should submit to her husband.
In one of our visits to our urologist in December, Dr. Reyes, our doctor said that if only the family can afford, it is best to submit to radiation therapy in Manila for that is no longer available in Iloilo. Our first information on the cost was very discouraging. My husband, the patient dismissed the idea of the therapy having known that food is also a big factor in his ailment. Besides he said that anyway he is approaching the break even age. All is well even if he won't get the extra years. We do not have that kind of money. Meanwhile, a brother in law in Tagaytay fills himself with Brandy or Whisky or Fondador in order to express himself on the phone and crying, said that the idea is okay only to the one who will simply die. To those around loving and caring and will be left behind, things will be very different. Thus they inquired within their circle of medical practitioners and their connections for an appropriate institution which can offer help at an affordable cost. Though the probability is approaching infinity to one, the amazing thing happened. The wife was able to connect to an oncologist who is connected to a newly established cancer center which was able to avail the big bite of its funds from Mr. Manny Pacquiao. His name is Dr.Rivera. We communicated through the internet about the subject for sometime while looking around for funds. It was said that the fees are only for the maintenance of the equipments. We surmised that this could be God's leading outside the help of Dr. Meriam Cantiller who is a close relative. As known, the fees in the St Luke Hospital where she is connected is only for the rich. Somehow, we tried to contact Dr. Meriam Cantiller but after the second try, she was still not available. The third try was even made by Mr. Hernandez and yet to no avail. We decided to go independently for the pain has no let up in punishing my husband. The only consideration was God's leading to that cancer center. We forgot that God also sets schedules. Thus our trip was not as smooth as expected even until our return trip where our eagerness is at its peak having new hopes of being well again. Check in officers at the airport declared him as patient and there is a separate requirement for checking in patients which we have no time to cope that day. The return trip is another case but the same airline. We were not able to use the ticket sent to us by the girl friend of a nephew. She is working in the central office of Cebu Pacific.
We left the following day through Philippine Air Lines. Check in officers did not declare the patient. We were allowed to board the plane without scrutiny. They even radioed Manila to provide wheeled chair upon arrival. Captain Dever Besana in Manila could have brought us to his home but we requested him to bring us to a sister's house which is near the cancer center. We might have went ahead again of God's time table for when we reported to the center, the doctor who we have been communicating with in the internet for the treatment was not there anymore since January, we were informed by the doctor who received us. Another dilemma in our part causing us to waiver and doubt on what to do. There was a conflict of doctors specially when another doctor of the center became friendly with us and breaks the news that Dr. Meriam Cantiller is his weeding sponsor and has just arrived that very hour from India. He even volunteered to call her for us but she has not yet reported for duty at the St. Luke Hospital, we were informed. I called her in her residence number. She said that we stay put in the center and she will indorse us to Dr. Abad, her "ehado". The more we got confused. We now have three doctors. Somehow, God made a resolution to the dilemma. We met with our doctor who we expected to receive us there but things turned out differently. He has his own clinic upstairs. He conceded for the reason that he can not use the center's facility anymore which is the best for us in all respect specially the cost. Dr. Chaves, the doctor who received us, being the junior between them and Dr. Abad agreed to be the cover up in the absence of Dr. Abad who will not be around for a brief training in Germany. At first, there was the painful experience somehow that could not be hidden behind the smiles and pleasant words of Dr. Chaves. Per our perception, she really wants to have our case since it was her who received us when we came instead of Dr. Rivera, our lead to the center by way of the internet. Soon she regained composure as a real professional being a member of the Oncologist Association of the Philippines which is led by Dr. Meriam Cantiller. Her true nature appeared to be that of an ideal doctor in relation to her patients whom she can relate to very well and easily because of her full transparrency and warmness. She, I could feel, is also part of of God's plan for us like a pain reliever. A cushion to soften impact. This must be one of the aspects of God that we could not fathom. While He allowed cancer, He also provided all kinds of provision to make it's effect bearable. Just as in love, He brought us to salvation through the cleansing blood of His son so He will, in love, save us from the trully crippling effects of cancer. For when we are most afraid, His love calms us; when we feel abandoned, He sorrounds us with His presence; when we are restless with pain, He soothes us with His touch. Then we can rest again even unoticed towards the end of the night, my husband says; when we lose heart thinking we will never be well again, He restores our soul. He does this through songs in the night and scriptures by day; through private prayers and text messages of friends and the corporate intercessions of the church, which includes specifically the team of pastors, the board of deacons and the choir of the local church, the Capiz Evangelical Church, who paid special home visits; through the expert care of doctors and the compassionate hands of nurses in the hospital and the technicians in the oncology center; through the testimony of cancer survivors like Mr. Hernandez and Mrs. Fegarido and the shining leadership of saints who die in the lord. Most of all, He does this through His ever vigilant, wholly sufficient, eternally satisfying love.
